I hate flying. I HATE flying. Like pop multiple Xanax and think my plane is going to go down at any minute HATE flying. It's miserable. So when an unexpected work trip to Denver popped up last week I was less than thrilled about it. Especially because my follicle scan was scheduled for the 19th and I was due back the 18th. And that was just cutting things a little too close for my comfort level. While in Denver I had some cramping and a few other symptoms that had me thinking it was not a good idea to be in Denver. On Friday that feeling was confirmed when I learned I ovulated early, as in ovulated while I was in Denver early. Did I mention I HATE flying???!!! Not only did I ovulate early, but I ovulated so early that we missed the IUI window. :( The whole exploratory thing went so well and I was so excited, this was just the sort of thing I was really hoping would NOT happen. But it did. I think my nurse practitioner recommended we give it the good ole college try for the next two days, simply to keep hope alive. But, my hope was a little deflated.
So now I'm waiting, and not very patiently, for my next cycle to start. I know making a baby can be hard, but no one tells you just how TERRIBLE the waiting is. Until next time, I'll be here...waiting.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
A Clean Slate
It's been almost two months to the day of my last post. But don't fret, you haven't missed anything good. The last two months were routine, IUI's and negative pregnancy tests. In August I mentioned doing the laparoscopy and last Thursday, we did just that.
The surgery was super simple and super fast. The waiting to go back, was the worse part. And there is nothing better than some medicated Zzzzz's! The surgery didn't make me nervous at all. The outcome was what was driving me crazy. We spent the weekend before the surgery at Vance's family lake house. We did a combo of antique shopping and relaxing, it was exactly what I needed. I came home Sunday mellow and ready, but come Monday morning I was a total wreck. Or better yet, I was a bag of crazy. I spent my morning crying, my afternoons anxious and my evening buried in Vance's nook. I was terrified of coming out of surgery and hearing that the Dr had found nothing to explain why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. I was fixated on this unbearable concept, and as much as EVERYONE was telling me to stay positive, which honestly did nothing but make me want to slap them, I just couldn't stop worrying. I survived Monday and Tuesday, then Vance took me for a dinner date which was a perfect distraction. Thursday morning I woke up super early, not really able to sleep and tired desperately to focus on not being able to eat, rather than what the outcome of surgery might be.
We arrived at the hospital at 9:45 am, checked in and then waited...forever. I don't think I was wheeled back to the OR until Noon. I slid over to the operation table, FREEZING, and laid there all Jesus Christ like as they hooked me up to monitors and oxygen masks. They asked what I did for a living, as before I could get software sales, I was waking up in the recovery room. And then just as quickly, I was back in my pre-op room with Vance. The details were so fuzzy I wouldn't even call them details. Vance explained to me what went down as best he could it my dopey state. But I don't think I comprehended anything, until the next day.
The Dr removed two cysts, one on each Fallopian tube. He said these cysts can be very sticky and eggs often get stuck to them and do not reach their intended destination. He also removed about 7-8 spots of endometriosis. We can't really blame either one of these things for why we haven't been able to get pregnant, but they definitely contributed to lowering our chances. So now we are back to our regularly scheduled programming and hopefully with better chances in our favor. We are scheduled for a follicle scan this Friday and if eggs are present (fingers tripled cross) we will be back on Saturday for an IUI. Dr says if all is well, we should see a positive pregnancy test in the next three months. (Can NOT wrap my head around that) If we don't get pregnant in the next three months, then we will talk about getting more aggressive with the hormone treatments.
Sorry for the absence, but hopefully this jam packed post will make up for lost time. We have a ton of prayers on our side. And despite my natural reaction to be the pessimist, I am feeling really hopeful and actually VERY excited for the first time, in a long time! I hope this feeling stays...for the next three months. :)
The surgery was super simple and super fast. The waiting to go back, was the worse part. And there is nothing better than some medicated Zzzzz's! The surgery didn't make me nervous at all. The outcome was what was driving me crazy. We spent the weekend before the surgery at Vance's family lake house. We did a combo of antique shopping and relaxing, it was exactly what I needed. I came home Sunday mellow and ready, but come Monday morning I was a total wreck. Or better yet, I was a bag of crazy. I spent my morning crying, my afternoons anxious and my evening buried in Vance's nook. I was terrified of coming out of surgery and hearing that the Dr had found nothing to explain why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. I was fixated on this unbearable concept, and as much as EVERYONE was telling me to stay positive, which honestly did nothing but make me want to slap them, I just couldn't stop worrying. I survived Monday and Tuesday, then Vance took me for a dinner date which was a perfect distraction. Thursday morning I woke up super early, not really able to sleep and tired desperately to focus on not being able to eat, rather than what the outcome of surgery might be.
We arrived at the hospital at 9:45 am, checked in and then waited...forever. I don't think I was wheeled back to the OR until Noon. I slid over to the operation table, FREEZING, and laid there all Jesus Christ like as they hooked me up to monitors and oxygen masks. They asked what I did for a living, as before I could get software sales, I was waking up in the recovery room. And then just as quickly, I was back in my pre-op room with Vance. The details were so fuzzy I wouldn't even call them details. Vance explained to me what went down as best he could it my dopey state. But I don't think I comprehended anything, until the next day.
The Dr removed two cysts, one on each Fallopian tube. He said these cysts can be very sticky and eggs often get stuck to them and do not reach their intended destination. He also removed about 7-8 spots of endometriosis. We can't really blame either one of these things for why we haven't been able to get pregnant, but they definitely contributed to lowering our chances. So now we are back to our regularly scheduled programming and hopefully with better chances in our favor. We are scheduled for a follicle scan this Friday and if eggs are present (fingers tripled cross) we will be back on Saturday for an IUI. Dr says if all is well, we should see a positive pregnancy test in the next three months. (Can NOT wrap my head around that) If we don't get pregnant in the next three months, then we will talk about getting more aggressive with the hormone treatments.
Sorry for the absence, but hopefully this jam packed post will make up for lost time. We have a ton of prayers on our side. And despite my natural reaction to be the pessimist, I am feeling really hopeful and actually VERY excited for the first time, in a long time! I hope this feeling stays...for the next three months. :)
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