Yesterday we had our cycle review appointment. I don't know if I was expecting to feel better or worse afterwards, but we left feeling very, "well that's that,". Honestly, it was an appointment we could have done without because we didn't really get any ACTUAL information. I think we were both hoping for a, "This is why you guys didn't get pregnant," and that simply never came. But then again, we should have known better with unexplained infertility. We haven't had any answers as to why in the last year and 8 months, why start now!!!
Doc said everything went accordingly and if he had to give an explanation it would be they picked the wrong blastocytes to transfer. We had a Day 3 transfer and on Day 3, the two blastocytes they choose were the best on that day. The other blastocytes that didn't get transfered were allowed to continue the growing process, so all said and done, the 3 frozen blastocytes we have are the most viable out of our last cycle. He says the reason they don't just wait and do a Day 5 transfer for everyone to be able to better tell which blastocytes are best is that, that would be admitting the labs uterus is better than mine and that's just absurd! And although I do understand the reasoning, my uterus, the labs uterus, hell even the chiuaua's uterus next door...at this point, I might not even care!!! Bottom line, everything else looked good and we are hoping that out of the 3 frozen blastocytes we have, one we be our little Acker next time. Which leads us to our next topic, the next cycle.
So the bad news about not getting pregnant on the first IVF is that, we didn't get pregnant on the first IVF. The good news, because there has to be a silver lining in all of this SOMEHOW, is that we took care of the hard part last cycle. This time we can skip at the stimming and after a few weeks of Estrogen and progesterone we will be able to go straight to a transfer. So, that makes like a little easier for everyone. So for now, we wait for my next start date and hopefully will be doing our next transfer towards the end of May!
This timing gives us enough time to mentally prepare ourselves again and to actually ENJOY our vacation next month. I also have to do a little traveling for work next month, so we can get all that behind us and be back and ready to try!!!! We also have decided to limit the number of people we are going to share this cycle with. Getting the negative test result is hard enough, but then having to let EVERYONE else know as well is just heart breaking. And even worse, you have to listen to all of their, "it will happen," "this just wan't the right time," stay positive". I know it all comes from the most sincere place and we appreciate all the prayers, but sometimes, you just can't hear it. It will be easier to keep it between us this time, because there are less appointments involved.
So that is where we stand. I feel like this closing paragraph is on repeat. We wait, we get back to a place where we can be hopeful and positive and have MORE FAITH THAN GOD HAS EVER SEEN! And we just keep at it. :) Thanks for listening!!!
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