Has you ever been told you can't have something? I'm sure most of us have and I'm sure most of us didn't like it. I am also going to assume the moment you were told you couldn't have said thing, it was ALL YOU COULD THINK ABOUT. Isn't it funny how our minds works. Even if this thing is bad for us we mourn its loss in our life. We ask WHY we can't have it. We justify all the reason we SHOULD have it. And the worst of it all, we DENY that is really is THAT BAD FOR US. We become the exception to the rule. We just know that although this thing is terrible for EVERYONE ELSE, it's really NOT THAT BAD for us.
This week while diving into the deep end of dieting/ lifestyle change research I have found myself confronting my worst frienemy...SUGAR. Frienemy is like the most perfect word ever invented by a teenage girl to describe my relationship with sugar. Sugar is that BIG BITCH who I just want to be close to all the time, but have no idea WHY I like her so much. She is a terrible person and does terrible things to me, but somehow I still go back for more. Why do I do this to myself and more importantly, HOW do I break the cycle.
So far, the answer is quit cold turkey. I am having HUGE issues with this recommendation. One, cause I don't wanna. Two, cause I don't wanna.I have since been making a list of all the yummy goodness that I will be missing out on. The chocolate cake, the donuts, the cupcakes, the cheesecake, the brownies, the tiramisu, the cookies, the NUTELLA... And then it hit me. I really do have an addiction to sugar. Do sane people think this way? Is it normal that before my appetizer even gets brought to our table I am deciding on what I will have for dessert?? Anyone?????? And if sugar is, in fact, the root of all evil, as all the research shows, is it the reason I have such issues with my stomach and can't seem to really lose the weight I want!!!??? Again, what a BIG BITCH!!!!
I am now wishing I was still in the ignorance is bliss bucket, just skipping along, eating anything and everything I wanted, completely blind to the fact that I've been slowly killing myself with sugar. And did you know that sugar is in like EVERYTHING! I know you think I'm trying to be funny here, but when you never really care to pay attention, you just don't know these things. But the stuff is EVERYWHERE. So even on days when I thought I had eaten in a somewhat "healthy" manner, I wasn't. And when I treated myself to sweet indulgences because I thought I deserved them, I was just laying sugar on sugar on sugar. Big ole sugar party for one. I just feel really stupid and I also feel really sad. I am stupid and sad and that is just where this process has led me to this week.
Have any of you been here before? How did you get through it? I've been praying. Praying so hard for wisdom and for understanding and for strength to really approach this change from a better angle than I ever have before. I know my eating habits thus far have been sinful, glutenous, to take it super old school and I know they need to change. But its how to start implementing the change that I am dealing with, And honestly, I feel like I am in mourning a little bit, as dramatic as that sounds. I am mourning a lifestyle that I've become accustomed to. I am mourning my current relationship status with desserts and that status is like FULL ON LOVE OBSESSED.
I am hoping once I make it through the fog of sorrow, I might start to see the bright side to saying goodbye to sugar. I don't want to talk about them now, I mean hello people, does it sounds like I'm remotely ready for that!!!!????? But the important thing is I know there is one. Thanks for listening to be rant and rave, scream and cry. I would love to hear from you if you've struggled with removing something you love from your diet.
Bye for now.
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