THINK POSITIVE

It's been about 3 1/2 months since last I posted. I wish I could tell you I've been absent for some awesome reason, but I think I just needed a break from continuously feeding this blog with false hope and disappointment. OUCH, those are pretty painful words. My friend Stephanie has this energizing way with words. She effortlessly uses BIG and perfectly paired words that come to life as you read them aloud off the screen or page that you read them from. I wish I could use her brain and her words to articulate in a more amusing way how these journey really feels, but I am simply not as talented as her. I'm the more less talented Stephanie, so this journey fucking sucks.

I will spare you the entire devastating 3 month recap and just cut to the chase of where we are today. February 6th we decided to leave our OB and see a fertility specialist. Our February 7th visit with the feritilty specialist showed two cysts which had formed due to the last injectable cycle. This would mean we'd have to skip a cycle before proceeding with the next step, which would be IVF. It's VERY weird to be here. And even weird-er to think I knew we'd eventually be here. But my faith in our new DR has been some what renewed. I am trying to make peace with the last year and and half of our journey and accept that we are here and can't do anything about. Only God knows why and when and I have to be okay with it. A work in progress to say the least. It's not that I don't trust God, it's just that I am impatient. I have been dreaming on our little Georgia a lot lately, so I know she's coming. I just have to trust that she will come when he says we're ready.

Here's the skinny. February 9th was the first day of my last menstrual cycle. (Sometimes it's still a little shocking how close we are here) I started birth control pills, which will help get rid of the cysts and will take those through March 13th. We go in this Friday to see if the cysts are gone. If we get the green light, we will start the IVF meds on March 9th. I may be trying to psych myself out here a little bit, but I'm not so terrified of the meds. I have decided to NOT read anything about anyone else's experience, I don't need to get any ideas in my head. I am becoming familiar with the idea of being a human pin cushion and just trusting that Vance will be my knight in stabbing honor! :) I have the schedule of meds, but will spare you that nonsense. And will let you know what we hear on Friday.

We are hoping and praying for a one and done. And that's all I will say about that. I am sorry to have just abandoned you the last couple of months, but I am back. We're making Ackers here people, I can feel it!