Adding Insult To Injury

When the nurse called us back with the second confirmation that we has miscarried on the 12th, I of course needed to know what all that entailed. Did we have to come in and see Dr. Silverberg, were we going to have to do a D&C, when was I supposed to start birth control again (since it keeps these cysts away)? Truth be told, there wasn't anything we were supposed to do, other than wait for my period to come AND monitor my HCG level back down to zero. How miserable is that! If it wasn't bad enough having to test weekly to ensure we stayed pregnant, NOW, I had to test weekly to ensure my body purged itself completely of what pregnancy we had. So stupid.

She mailed me a packet similar to the one we received after the positive, except this one was way less exciting to receive. It had like 5 slips in it. SO stupid! I was supposed to go on the 19th and straight up refused. I didn't want to have to be testing for these reasons. And I was DREADING the technician asking me what we were testing for. I didn't got the 20th, the 21st or on the 22nd. On the 23rd, my nurse called to say she hadn't seen any results yet. Well no shit Sherlock, I have tested yet! This isn't her fault, I know that. She kindly reminded me it was in my best interest to go and that major health issues can occur if the HCG level doesn't come all the day down to zero. FINE, I'll go. But I didn't. I didn't go the 23rd and on the 24th I got a friendly email reminder. So yesterday morning I dragged my ass into the lab and did the damn blood work. My nurse called around 3:00 pm to let me know me know the levels were down where they needed to be. Of course they are, my body has always done not pregnant well! I mean I could be a not pregnant scholar at this point. She did inform us that we will need to schedule a HSG once my next Day 1 comes. This is just to ensure nothing was left behind. Isn't that just sad, like that whole statement just makes me miserably sad. We are no strangers to the HSG, this one one of the very first procedures we did back in 2011 and have had it done a handful of times since. They usually do it when they go in for exploratory, just to make sure they cover all the basics. And I KNOW, this will do nothing but help make sure we are ready, for when we are ready to start trying again. But it just ALL sucks.

I did schedule a follow up with Dr. Silverberg. I don't think he will have any brand new information for us, but I just feel like I have a few things to talk out with him. Things like...

1. Does the fact that we got pregnant finally change anything, from a game plan perspective?
2. Is taking 6 months off going to hurt our chances, having just figured out how to get pregnant?
3. Because we found endometriosis and more cysts between my first and last exploratory surgeries, would he recommend another clean out before we start to try again, if we take the full 6 months off?
4. Any known reason why we miscarried?

I'm assuming I already know the answers to the questions above, maybe I just want to hear it out of his mouth. Regardless, I go see him on the 23rd. I think it just might be the closure I need in any good ending. Maybe then I can officially close the book on this hurt and move forward. 

Bye for now.