Making Ackers: Seek Joy

It's inevitable, whatever it is that you set out to look for, you are going to find it, it some way, shape or form. This is also known as tunnel vision. Depending on what is at the end of your tunnel, this can be a good thing OR a bad thing. I've had a pretty good couple of days. This past weekend was awesome, but this past weekend was also filled with fun, distracting things. Monday rolled around and started off good, happy, stable. But by the afternoon I found my mood slowly slipping into a place of sadness. Not like an ugly cry in the shower sadness, but like a wet blanket sadness. My thoughts just come rushing at me and I find it hard to slow down the momentum and ultimately find it hard to refocus somewhere else.

The last part of yesterday was not happy. I just kept wondering what was the point of all this. I was so at peace with this lat cycle. I was ready to receive the negative, focus the next 6 months of getting healthy and continue to living in the joy that is our life today...as is. That unexpected positive just pulled the rug out from underneath me and I am finding it hard to put my feet back in place on my foundation of God and the work He is doing in our life right now. I know this moment is fleeting and I know I CAN get back to where I was, but it's trying to remember to seek joy again that is currently the struggle for yesterday and today.

But here's the good news, if I can remember that joy is what I am seeking, then inevitably, joy is what I'll find. It's days like today that I have to create a mental list of all the good God has done in my life. Today I am thankful for God's love, Vance, puppies, our beautiful home, my job, my amazing support team I have in my family and friends, my health, my newly pink wall in my closet and the package of Skinny Cow Dream Clusters that is awaiting to be devoured at lunch today. These pieces of my life are not trivial and they weren't east to come by. At one point in life, I was struggling and praying for these things too and look how that turned out. So today I am focusing on refocusing my tunnel vision and placing joy at the end of lens. It may not be an overnight journey, but I will find it and place it in the center of my heart again.

Thought I would share some of my joys with you...