The Unexpected

 I can tell you this, I was not prepared to be writing this post. This cycle was just like all the others. I did not start prior to test day, I had a little breast tenderness, little cramping and a ton of bloating. These were all symptoms I've experienced in other cycles. So I stuck to my plan and just stayed center in my prayer for nothing more than God's will this time. Every now and now I found myself thinking, what if this time is it or thinking about baby names or already thinking about taking a 6-12 month break after this cycle. But I just kept asking God to bring me back to his presence, his peace, his love.

Friday morning I headed off to do the blood draw and waited all day. Earlier that week I had sent an email out to family and close friends, thanking them for all their love and support and also asking for their understanding in giving us some space on Friday to deal with the results. I told them if they didn't hear from us, then it was safe to assume we got a negative. It was a relief to know we didn't have to deal with one of the hardest parts of test day...getting the negative result and then having to turn around and relay the heart breaking news to 20 plus people. People who have been praying and hoping and supporting us through each cycle. As selfish as it felt, it made being prepared for the day a little easier.

We usually get results around 1:30 pm. So when 3:30 pm rolled around and I still hadn't heard anything, I started to think they had forgotten about us! I shot an email to our nurse and within a minute she replied saying she hadn't seen results yet, but would call immediately to check. Not 5 minutes later, my phone was ringing. I was on a call with my boss and asked if he would mind holding. I answered my nurses call and I immediately recognized the tone in her voice. It's the tone I've heard EVERYTIME they've called to deliver results. Very monotone, no excitement, just nada.  She asked if I had a minute to review the results and I did. She continued to say the one thing that I had finally made peace with never hearing, "Well girl, congratulations, you're pregnant!".

Yes, you read that right...we are pregnant! Every time I say/write/hear that sentence, the same warming sensation washes over my heart. We're pregnant!!!! By the grace of God and in his own time, we've been give the miracle of life. And we still haven't completely wrapped our mind around that.

As you can imagine, I got off the phone with my nurse, gathered myself and then got off the phone as quickly as possible with my boss. All I wanted to do was get to Vance. That drive home was nothing more than a conversation between me and God. Thanking him, praising him and  letting him know that this didn't change anything, I was still planning to pray only for His will through the rest of this journey. Sharing the news with Vance felt like finally taking a breath of air after trying to hold my breath for as long as I could. I will NEVER forget that moment of our life, our story.

We are still trying to process the news. We had a second test done on Sunday morning. My HCG levels need to double every two days. And they did just that on Sunday. We are sticking to the same medicine regime, yes, still smurfing! :( But so worth it. And it looks like we will be retesting HCG, progesterone and estradiol levels over the next several weeks. Next test is Friday.

As excited and just shocked at the unbelievable news, we are mentally being very cautious. We know we still have a long road and we just don't want to get too ahead of ourselves or more importantly, ahead of God. So for now we stay the course.

We are enjoying each day of this blessing and praying for His will and His love. And we are praying for a healthy, happy Baby Acker! (Or two!!!!!! Remember, we transferred two embryos!)

Bye for now!